In today’s fast-paced world, self-care often feels like an afterthought – a luxury we wish we had time for but struggle to prioritise. But what if self-care wasn’t a one-size-fits-all concept? What if it was a personalised practice, one that nurtures your mind, body, and soul in exactly the way you need?
Wellness coach, Reiki instructor, and author Kelsey Patel offers insight into the art of self-care saying, “Self-care means really listening to your body, checking in with yourself, and challenging your behaviour and beliefs when things feel out of alignment in your life.” It’s about consciously tuning into your needs and practising rituals that foster peace and healing.
But while recognising the need for self-care is a step in the right direction, integrating it into your routine can be a challenge. With life’s never-ending demands, it’s easy to let self-care slip through the cracks. So how can we cultivate a practice that improves our wellbeing, even when the world feels out of control? Here’s how to make self-care a sustainable part of your life.
What Is Self-Care, really?
Before diving into the deep end of self-care, it’s important to understand exactly what it is – and what it’s not.
While self-care is often associated with mental health, it actually stems from the field of nursing, where it was viewed as a way to prevent chronic disease and maintain overall wellbeing.
Yet its definition remains vague, with many interpretations. According to experts, self-care is a multi-faceted practice that involves awareness, self-control, and self-reliance to promote optimal health.
Paula Gill Lopez, PhD, a researcher and self-care advocate, defines it as the proactive pursuit of integrated wellness that balances mind, body, and spirit, both personally and professionally. And for wellness experts like Patel, it’s much more than physical health.
“Just eating healthily isn’t enough anymore,” she says. “We need space to slow down, rest, and recharge in the midst of our busy lives.”
But not every “good for you” activity qualifies as self-care. According to Stephanie Freitag, PhD, a psychologist based in Brooklyn, self-care should be something you look forward to. It could be a physical activity like yoga, or something purely joyful like meeting friends for dinner or indulging in a relaxing massage.
Self-care at its core, is a practice that brings you enjoyment and satisfaction – even if that enjoyment doesn’t always come immediately. For example, while running may feel challenging at first, the sense of accomplishment once you’ve achieved your goal is where the true self-care lies.
A Step-by-Step Guide to Building Your Routine
Creating a self-care routine that sticks takes intention, along with small, manageable steps.
Here are some suggestions on how to integrate self-care into your daily life – without overwhelm.
1. Discover What Centres You
Start by identifying the activities or elements that make you feel grounded. Dr. Gill Lopez recommends exploring different types of self-care to find what resonates with you. Make a list of what brings you joy – whether it’s a favourite scent, a specific colour, or even the sound of your favourite music.
2. Incorporate Joy Into Your Day
Once you’ve pinpointed what makes you feel centred, look for ways to bring those elements into your everyday life. Whether it’s surrounding yourself with comforting colours or dedicating a few minutes each day to a calming activity, start small. Gradually build your routine with activities that are easy to maintain.
3. Set Realistic Goals
Turn your self-care practices into measurable goals. Whether it’s spending 20 minutes a day off your devices or dedicating time for a walk, make sure your goals are realistic and achievable. “Start small,” advises Dr. Gill Lopez. “Celebrate small victories, and gradually challenge yourself as you get more comfortable.”
4. Lean on Your Support System
Sustainability is key when it comes to self-care. Find people who can join you in your self-care practices. Whether it’s exercising together, cooking nutritious meals, or simply sharing a quiet moment, having a support system helps keep you motivated.
5. Adjust As You Go
Life is constantly evolving, and so are your needs. Dr. Ellen K. Baker emphasises the importance of flexibility. If something stops working for you, try something new. Self-care is a practice that requires trial and error – and it’s okay to change things up as you grow.
Navigating the Roadblocks to Self-Care
It’s common to face resistance when starting a self-care routine, and understanding the barriers is the first step toward overcoming them.
Dr. Baker suggests exploring what’s holding you back.
Journaling can help, but if the issue feels deeper, a therapist might be the right resource.
Self-worth can often be a major factor, and working through that with a professional can help you move forward.
In today’s world, the constant barrage of negative news and global crises can also make self-care feel trivial. Dr. Shauna Pollard acknowledges that feeling overwhelmed is a natural response to the constant stream of bad news. But disengaging from the news cycle, even for short periods, can be an important form of self-care. It gives you space to recharge and focus on the things that matter most to you.
Self-Care in Challenging Times
Research has shown that engaging in self-care during times of stress – like the COVID-19 lockdown – leads to better overall wellbeing, even when the external environment is less than ideal.
In fact, taking time for self-care, even in small doses, can help buffer against feelings of helplessness and anxiety.
Patel sums it up beautifully:
“More self-care equals more self-awareness, which equals more self-love, which then ripples out to those around us in the form of kindness, gratitude, and compassion.”
She believes that dedicating even a few minutes a day to self-care can lead to profound changes – helping you show up in the world with greater inner peace.
Ultimately, self-care is about giving yourself permission to take a pause. It’s not a luxury – it’s a necessity.
So the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember: self-care isn’t a chore, it’s a powerful tool to enhance your overall wellbeing.
