By Stacy Vajta
Creating a life change takes some hustle; let’s not beat around the bush here. I’m not talking about struggle, but effort… the kind of effort that says you mean it. I’ve been all over the map when it comes to the “how” of creating change. Most of my life I’ve been one to go within; to process, and internalise my experience as a means to understand myself and the world. I’ve over processed and have gotten stuck there. And by that I mean I’ve spent too much time looking for answers – even meaning – by turning inward. I believed that my internal experience could show me something new. But, you know that old saying, “You can’t create new ideas out of nothing?” Well, that applies here; not to say any of us are nothing… but we need new ideas and experiences to feed new ideas and experiences. I’ve met a lot of other intuitive, energy-aware folks who have done that same thing: gotten lost in their inner exploration. A while back I had a coach who gave me a loving kick in the pants and introduced me to what I now call “radical responsibility.” That’s where you finally figure out that if you want something to change, it’s not going to happen until you finally do something new. I totally embraced this. I still do. It’s a very action-oriented process, though. It’s all about awareness and hustle. If something isn’t right in your world, it’s your job to notice it, understand what’s out of alignment, and focus your efforts on healing and transforming. And you don’t stop until you begin to see something new in your experience. This doesn’t mean you do it alone. In fact, I think being radically responsible is about seeking out help to offer up that new insight you need… the missing pieces, the modelling, and the accountability. Because change does take some hustle! Simply creating a new level of awareness does not a change make. It took me a long time to understand this. As someone who was way on the internalised end of the continuum, this was a major change for me. I needed to swing toward that energy of intense, radical responsibility. I stopped spending time being as energetically engaged as I was, and kept bringing myself back to the question, “Who do I need to be to show up differently?” I had to learn some new skills and to think in new ways that embraced action, and learning through action. And in teaching this to my clients, they too began to have big shifts toward new action and a new understanding of their own balance between inner work and outer work. My radical responsibility stance softened some as well; moving back to the middle if you will, where heart and hustle meet. And as I’ve swung back toward a balance between that intensity of action and my own need for inner exploration, here’s what I have come to understand; perhaps it rings true to you as well: We go within to find our Truth. And for those of us who have been wounded around our Truth, and who don’t feel we can live that, or are worthy of that, or can’t speak that, this inner exploration is so validating. We say, “Yes! This is the ‘me’ I know,” and we feel healed in that moment. Yet… that is not enough. The minute we take this internalised sense out into the world, we run the risk of hitting a wall; our core wounding is so easily triggered. And when it is, we retreat back into ourselves, maybe more confused by the incongruence we are experiencing. We may remind ourselves that we can’t have what we know to be our Truth, after all, and we tap into shame and any myriad of other not so yummy feelings. And then we dive back into our inner experience again to find answers, meaning and ourselves; to feel validated once again. It’s that juncture — in myself and my clients — that I am so enthralled with healing. Inner work – heart work – is so extraordinary. You do need to see your Truth through your own eyes. You need to feel that energy and be in awe of your Self and your awareness. But there is a next step to the process that you may be missing… the harder part of the outer work; standing in the power of which you are, and taking new action from this awareness without getting smacked back down by your core wound. All too often we get caught up in the inner work, what our heart wants: the riveting inner exploration that can be so enchanting. And it is; it’s magical. It needs to be, to break through the veil of what we aren’t allowing ourselves to recognise. It heals the heart in the process. But it is in the outer work – the hustle of putting yourself into new experiences and practising your new awareness – where the real transformation locks in. It’s as though the Universe is saying, Let’s see if they really mean it; let’s see what they do with this! Where are you on the continuum of change? It’s a balance, but one to find. Let your heart guide you toward action, and be radically responsible with your life. After all, you are here to both be and live your Truth. |