We are all humans, seekers, so impatient and eager to feel the buzz. To experience what I believe is at the core of our every desire. -Happiness. Yet life happens to all of us. The life that doesn’t feel like happy at all, bringing days where all you want to do is to crawl back under the covers, or weeks you want to delete from the calendar. Oh yes, I’ve been there.
So the challenge is to stay grateful when life hits you like a truck from behind. When you feel everything just piles up. When one thing happens on top of another, and it feels like enough is enough. When your life is showing you where to look, the challenge is to do so without resistance, allowing the crappy to give meaning and nurture growth.
The experiences I have learned most from were my darkest times.
And I say times, as there are more than one.
I used to run from them, to see if I could skip having to feel what was going on. Or maybe I could forget or have a cognac like my Doctor used to say. Yeah, that was my Doc. We were the perfect match.
I have had my share of walking through darkness, believe me, crying my eyes and heart out for what felt like years. Lost and struggling, searching for one thing: How the heck to feel better and get my life back!
I felt so deprived. Irritated and angry, helpless, hopeless and lost. When you have had to give up your business, when friends stop calling, there is no knocking on the door, no immediate family support, you know what lost feels like. You know not all days are happy.
What I did understand fairly quickly though, was that I was not a victim. I was the solution. Yes, I was the key to everything – good, bad, ugly and magnificent. This was always first and foremost in my mind, in my way of thinking and feeling. My outlook, my spiritual connection and my willingness to change were all me …sometimes painfully me.
But what I found the hardest was to let go of how I saw me, and what I wanted my future to be.
I was the achiever, the always helpful servant. The athletic energetic ongoing battery. And now I was flat. I felt of no use to anyone. Being so sick I could not leave my house and bed. What value did I have?
You see, we love to hang on to what we have, and we love to ruminate on how things should be. That`s because its all we know. I learned my lesson of change the hard way.
You see, when I was bedridden, all I wanted to do was to get healthy – right now! Just let me get this done and over with. I kept asking for healing and happiness and I worked towards that goal every single day. From the time I opened my eyes until I went back to sleep, I worked towards that one goal.
“Thank you for this healing, and please show me the way,” I asked.
But you see, I had no idea how grand that wish was. I wanted complete healing, to be symptom-free – just like that.
Things often don’t work out exactly how we want them to though. I had asked for something that would take many, many years to accomplish … in fact I am not sure if true healing is ever ‘accomplished.’ So it took me years to realise the full extent of my wish, and the perfection in the way that it unfolded.
The Universe was guiding me and giving me exactly what I wished for and more. And I didn’t know better – how could I know what perfect health and healing would look like? I had never experienced it. I had no perception of the how and the when. All I had was the ego that wanted out of pain, and the control freak inside of me that wanted it to happen in a certain way.
So my message to you … what we need to fulfil our dream and mission might not always be what we believe and expect it to be. Our perception is limited, and our vision is not clear. How would we know? We have never experienced it before.
How will we know what is the best way for anything to unfold? We don`t. This is why we have trust and faith.
My life was always a blessing, even though I couldn’t see it. My path was always perfect, although I believed otherwise at the time.
My book From HELL to Inspired chronicles my experience through what I perceived as hell. What we as humans believe is a nightmare.
We often get so caught up in outcomes that we completely miss – or don’t appreciate the experience that is happening right now.
It was not until I was well into saving my life, and back to being able to take some very short walks (after being in a wheelchair for some time), and because fully educated as a Health and Mindset Coach, that I could see that everything was happening as it should.
Don’t get me wrong though. I still have crappy days, like we all do. The only difference is I no longer need to know how to feel better. I now trust and am mindful of messages. I am no longer attached to the outcome. I am no longer a control freak. I don’t try to fix everything. I no longer operate from a state of fear.
For years I couldn’t grasp this concept. Not care about the outcome? Shouldn’t I care whether I get well or not? What was the use in working so diligently and hard, all day every day, with a one hundred percent focus, if I didn’t care if I made it or not?
I know, this is hard to wrap your mind around … the energy is this:
There is a big difference between not caring about the outcome, and letting go of it. When we let go of any type of control we allow what is best for us to enter. Letting go of the outcome means that we need to surrender to the process and not hold on to any idea or fear about when and how things will happen. We just need to trust what is happening. All we have to do is step aside.
There Are No Rejections, Only Redirection
Life is never working against us, but for us. If you are sick, of ill health, emotionally hurting, do what you need to do to allow your body to heal, and step aside. Let it happen. Don´t get mental about it. You will lose yourself and cling to an outcome that might not even be the one you think it should be.
Letting go of the outcome is not the same as leaving everything to chance. It is not about not having to actually do what needs to be done. It has everything to do with just that, and then let it go.
Now, focus on you and your life and health only, on healthy thoughts and activities, on happy feelings and what makes you feel good. As long as you stay with it, change will come, at the perfect time for you. As long as you keep your focus on building your life, one day at the time, keeping your schedule, always stretching and advancing, the results you want will come. Life has your back, and as we live we learn.
We use the phrase “to chase our dream” as if chasing anything is a great idea. Why would we try to run after anything? It will feel like a chase when we hang on to control.
Controlling is the opposite of allowing.
We cannot forcefully make anything happen. That represents trouble.
By practising different meditations and stillness techniques, journaling and mindfulness, you can work on your ability to walk lighter and more fluently through your life.
The less you hold on to, the lighter your steps will be. The less you are occupied with an outcome, the more capable you will be to expand your perspective.
There is no way I could have imagined my own life now .. walking barefoot on the beach, and teaching YOU how to become the best version of YOU. Showing you how your mindset is holding you back, even though your focus is on the outcome, your fears, and your dreams.
There is no way I could have seen this coming, as it was not at all on my radar My deep healing came from letting go, forgiving, gratitude, self-love and trust in the divine.
I still had to take physical action, but I didn’t have to force myself into a box that was never there.
I am now passionate about using the physical body, and stretching it to the fullest to see what it CAN do. What I have been able to achieve has so far blown my mind!
So to release your inner child, fully allow all of your expressions to flow. If you are angry, let it out. Keeping anything in will obstruct your flow, acidify your body and clutter your amazingness.
* Not every day is a happy day. But who cares. Just LIVE it!
