Hatred is a real and powerful emotion that can cause serious damage to the person who feels it. It’s complicated and often deep-rooted, which can make it difficult to heal.
“Hate stems from personal perceptions of powerlessness or experience in which we feel injured or mistreated by others,” says Stephanie Carnes, PhD, LCSW, a therapist in New York City.
“Sometimes hatred can even be rooted in a perceived threat to our survival as individuals, which naturally triggers a strong emotional response.”
What Is Hate?
The word “hate” is thrown around more often than the actual emotion is felt. For example, the statement “I hate broccoli” is rarely accompanied by the strong negative emotion of true hatred.
Even strong feelings of anger or disgust are not the same as hate.
“Hate is a profoundly intense and enduring dislike for someone or something. Hate can be tenacious, and often has roots in mistrust, fear, or (lack of) individual power, and vulnerability,” says Dr. Carnes.
It can be hard to distinguish hate from other powerful negative emotions that you may be feeling at the same time.
Some psychologists say what makes hate different is that it’s directed toward who or what someone or something is, rather than what they’ve done.
In a review of research on hate published in 2018, the authors say anger and revenge come from wanting to change a behaviour or situation, or to fix or repay a wrong. But with hate, you believe the person or thing on the receiving end can’t be changed, and you want to eliminate or destroy it.
What Causes Hate?
Hate rarely arises from a single experience or event unless the event is traumatising or could be interpreted as a threat to a person’s livelihood or safety.
“It’s possible to hate an employer who breaks an agreement and threatens termination if an individual refuses to work on weekends. It’s possible for an individual to hate a bully or a person who threatens them with physical harm,” explains Gideon Javna, LCSW, a therapist in private practice in Richmond, Virginia.
Hate can be something you’re taught when you’re part of a group that perceives a threat from another group of people.
“Perception is not always reality. If an individual hates a group of people based on stories told by their peers, it’s important to challenge these stories with exposure and education.”
Types of Hate
Hate can be directed externally – at another person, a group of people, or even a situation or an idea. It can also be directed internally, to yourself.
General Hate
Hate that’s directed externally is typically caused by a personal threat or experience that triggers a strong sense of fear, mistrust, loss of power, or vulnerability. The feeling of hatred can be specific or more general. For example, you may hate your alcoholic father because of how he treats you when he’s drinking, or you may hate alcohol in general, because of the role it’s played in your experiences.
Self-Hate
“When we become intensely critical of ourselves, we may experience self-hatred, in which the narratives we tell about ourselves are saturated with negativity and contempt,” Carnes explains. Self-hate may arise when you fail to meet expectations you or others have for yourself. It can be based on things like your appearance, your performance at school or at work, or the way you interact and relate with others.
It may not have any basis in reality.
Systemic Hate
There are countless situations around the world in which a culture or group views another culture or group as a threat. The feelings of hate aren’t necessarily directed at a specific person, but at the group as a whole. Racism, xenophobia, nativism, anti-semitism, bigotry, and homophobia are examples of systemic hate. “Hate is founded on a diffuse sense that members of a target group are inferior, threatening, or have negative intentions,” says Carnes.
Internalised Hate
Internalised hate is a form of self-hate that arises as a by-product of systemic hate. “Internalised hatred can occur when an individual from a minority community experiences a form of broadly defined hate so pervasively that those perceptions of inferiority become internalised as their own internal narrative,” explains Carnes.
Symptoms of Hate and How Hate Affects Your Health
Little research has been done to analyse the specific symptoms or physical effects of hate. But hate often coincides with other strong emotions, like anger, humiliation, or powerlessness, all of which take a toll. Hate can manifest in a person’s behaviour and psychology in a number of ways.
Angry or Violent Outbursts
Hate and anger are different emotions, but strong feelings of hate can lead to angry outbursts or violence. “Some research has linked strongly negative emotions, including hate, to heightened cortisol levels and over-stimulation of the nervous system,” says Carnes. This over-stimulation can manifest as a “fight or flight” response, leading to yelling or physically lashing out.
Anxiety
Anxiety is an emotion that can come from fear, and research indicates hate is often rooted in fear. People who experience high levels of hate may also be more likely to experience anxiety.
Depression
Self-hating feelings like worthlessness are one of the symptoms doctors use to diagnose depression, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. When hate is directed outward, the emotion often arises when a person feels helpless, which is another symptom of depression.
Other Mental Health Diagnoses Like PTSD
When hatred comes from a traumatic event or experience, it’s quite possible that the person also has post-traumatic stress disorder. According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, people with PTSD are more likely to respond to any stressful situation with feelings of anger.
How to Prevent Hate
Carnes and Javna say self-awareness is key to preventing or coping with hate. Identify what or who triggers hate in you, and ask yourself why.
For instance, maybe you hated a certain teacher because they humiliated you in front of the class, and you felt powerless to remedy the situation. You may find yourself hating teachers or school in general, even without a specific threat or chance that you’ll be humiliated again.
Therapy can help you identify and address this type of learned emotional response based on specific triggers. “When we have the opportunity to process, make meaning, and heal from our old psychological wounds, we are more likely to employ healthy coping skills in situations that may provoke intense emotional responses,” says Carnes.
When it comes to systemic hate, studies indicate education may help change behaviour and attitudes with school-based programs to prevent behaviour such as bullying, online harassment, racism, and discrimination.
Teaching acceptance, both at school and at home, is also among the strategies promoted by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a way to end systemic hate. Others include:
- Examine your own prejudices
- Put pressure on community and political leaders
- Build connections with people outside your normal social group
- Support victims of hate
- Speak out within your personal network and through social media against acts of hate
How to Cope With Hate
Awareness of your emotions is the first step to coping with hate inside you.
When you feel it, start by soothing your central nervous system.
Carnes suggests taking a walk, playing with a pet, listening to music, or breathing deeply.
She then suggests asking yourself these questions to assess the feelings you experienced:
- Why did this emotion arise at this moment?
- Have I felt like this before?
- What emotions might lie beneath the surface?
- What thoughts do I experience around this emotion?
- What are the common situations in which I experience hate, and perhaps more importantly, why these situations?
- Could my past experiences of fear, trauma, or rejection be shaping the way I view this hated individual or situation?
“This exploration can be challenging, especially when hate is rooted in personal pain, trauma, or unhealed psychological wounds,” Carnes emphasises. Coping methods like expressive writing, talk therapy, or spiritual practice are effective options.
When Hate Is Healthy and When It’s Not
Javna points out that it’s okay to feel any of our emotions. It is a normal human experience to feel hatred at times, and you don’t have to force yourself to feel differently or try to erase the feelings, especially if they’re directed toward someone who seriously hurt you.
But hate can cause negative consequences for each of us and for society as a whole. Says Carnes, “Unlike some emotions that can become catalysts for motivation or empowerment, hate is a heavy, burdensome emotion that can become toxic.”
Research on hate shows that when it’s experienced within a group, it can feel self-protective and reassuring. A study looking at online white supremacist groups found that people who join them can turn feelings of fear and shame into power, pride, and belonging.
While that might sound positive, the research shows hate is negative overall – leading to more division, conflict escalation, and violence.
“Even if the roots of hatred feel justified, the negative net effects on physical and mental health impede our ability to experience fulfillment, connection, and wellbeing,” Carnes says.
SOURCE: Everyday Health
